Mercilessly Killing Small Animals With My Bicycle

About a year and a half ago I gave up on Muni. It made me late, miserable, and, on way too many occasions, reek. In lieu of slowly creeping through the city, one block at a time, I picked up biking. My super awesome wife (then girlfriend), had bought me an excellent bike from Public Bikes a few months before and I was eager to put it to frequent use. It took some time to figure things out and to get into good enough shape so that I was arriving at work relatively sweat free. I learned things like: I should bring a spare tube with me if I'm going to be biking 10 miles round trip and maybe bike wheels are meant to handle 200 lbs of awesome rolling off a curb.Over time, I learned more about the city and how its people react to bicycles. I can tell which pedestrians are going to look right at me and then decided to go ahead and cross the street anyway. Even though I don't understand it, I am prepared for many drivers to look at me annoyed and anxiously wave me ahead when I stop at "STOP" signs. Most frustrating to me though, are the other bicyclist that insist on rolling right through stop lights and signs even though I am waiting for my turn to cross the intersection. I always catch up to them at the next busy intersection and wish broken spokes and flat tires upon them. The one thing that I am still taken aback by, is something that many motorist probably don't notice: how many animals I have either killed or almost killed. Here is a brief rundown: I ran over a mouse one night that I couldn't even see until my tire was on top of him (or her, I didn't stop to verify), a bird flew directly into my spokes in a magnificent explosion of feathers, every dog on the mixed use paths seem to want a tire stripe down their back, and I almost ran over a feline that was only saved by my cat like reflexes. This isn't even counting the insects I am unintentionally catching in my eyes and intentionally catching in my mouth (free protein!). I'm not even a stereotypically spandex-clad, aggressive cyclist. I just seem to be a magnet for every suicidal animal in San Francisco. Bicycling is a great way to get around. It's cheap, good exercise, quicker than the bus, and sometimes quicker than driving (if you factor in looking for parking). You just have to reconcile the fact that you will become a rolling death machine that destroys all animals in your path. That's all.

Top Ten and Bottom Five Movies of 2012

Dear the Internet,

Well, 2012 is over and, in retrospect, I saw a whole lot of movies. I'm not a critic that gets to go to free screenings of everything, so I can really only judge the year based on a handful of movies. Here, with a few stipulations, are my top ten favorite movies of 2012 and my five least favorite movies.