How Zombie Proof Is My House

 

Dear The Internet,

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you woke up one morning and found your city to be completely taken over by zombies? Would you be prepared? How easy to fortify is your home? All of these are ridiculous questions that I will answer.

First off, I live on the third floor of my building (yes, I drew myself on the second floor in that first picture, but I couldn't get the third floor in the shot unless I also got this super ugly car in there too), so it is a little bit easier to protect. Unfortunately, I live in San Francisco, which is a largish city located on a peninsula. That means I only have three real ways to leave the city and two of them are bridges. Also, I live very close to a hospital, which we all know are likely zombie spawning points. I also live near a sporting goods store and two grocery stores, so it might not be that hard to get supplies. San Francisco in general would be a terrible place to be during a zombie Apocalypse though. I'm assuming these are classic zombies that shamble around and can't climb and not like the ones in 28 Days Later. If they are, then we are all hosed because you can't really do anything to stop them.

 

Our front door leads right to some very steep stairs. It'd be pretty easy to either blockade this or set up some Home Alone like booby traps. The door is also pretty heavy, so I don't think it would be a big issue.
 

Our backyard is also pretty secure, but there are a few ways in. Our neighbor to the right is a car repair shop that has a super classy barbed wire fence on top of a huge cinder block wall. On the left and behind us we have wood fences, but the zombies would have to go through our neighbors yards to get to these because all of the houses are right up against each other. It's not impossible, but it seems unlikely.

 

 If they do get past those fences, we have wood stairs that lead up to the back door. I feel like we could also seal this off or burn it or something.

If they do get up those back stairs, we are totally hosed. It's just a glass door and windows all around that area that would be really hard to seal off and defend.

From there, it's pretty much over. We have a skylight that we could maybe climb up and get on the roof, but it's pretty high and we don't have a latter. It's pretty unlikely we could do much if zombies got in the house because we don't really have anything to use as zombie weapons besides a hammer and a small crowbar. All in all, we could last a few days, but I don't really like our chances. On a scale of 28 Days Later (where pretty much all the main characters live) to Night of the Living Dead (where all the main characters die), I give us a final score of Dawn of the Dead (where they might have lived).