I'm getting married!!!

Dear the Internet,

I got engaged!!!

My super awesome girlfriend is now my super awesome fiance and will soon become my super awesome wife. I'll post something later with the how story and some photos, but for right now I wanted to show off this picture I made to ask my groomsmen if they would, well, be my groomsmen.

It's kind of a weird thing to figure out who makes the cut when it comes to the wedding party. I feel like it gets glossed over a bit what with all the flower and candle talk. The whole wedding planning process kind of forces you to put your friends in a sort of hierarchy, which I'm not sure I'm comfortable with how naturally that came. There wasn't an objective metric that we used to decide who I know well enough to see me dance in front of my parents but, with a few exceptions, it was pretty easy. In the past, if I didn't get invited to someone's wedding and I wanted to see if I should feel offended or not, I would try and imagine if I would invite them to mine. I'm not really sure this process works in reverse.

Fortunately, this guest list thing happens early on and then you get to do stuff like register and taste cakes. I have to admit that registering isn't nearly as much fun as I thought it would be. It turns out I've been going to stores and looking at things I want but can't afford for most of my adult life and having a laser scanner in your hand doesn't really dull the pain of knowing that the next avocado I slice will be with a completely average knife. Cake tasting though, that's the shit.

It's also been fun for me to think of terrible ideas to throw at my super awesome fiance to keep her on her toes. Example: write guests' seat assignments on hermit crab shells in a giant terrarium. This is doubly a terrible idea because hermit crabs smell like every dead thing in the ocean is rotting in their shell and no adult wants to be near a crab they can't eat.

With the exception of a tuberculosis scare, the wedding planning hasn't been so bad. I expect we'll encounter some issues along the way, but my super awesome fiance and I are both pretty level headed individuals and neither of us are teetotalers, so we should be fine.

Bloodless Battle

I had originally posted this story and picture a few months ago but took it down while I was applying for a job that I thought might not think this was funny. I didn't get the job, so I decided to put it back up. I put a censor bar over Hodor just to be safe, but note that the wolf's back made it so you couldn't see anything before. I just decided to make it that much less sketchy. Now, without further ado: a stupid fanfic story I wrote that was inspired by a gchat conversation.

A chill sweeps through an eerily quiet field as two armies prepare for battle. On one side: an army led by Rob Stark The King of the North as some have taken to calling him. On the other: a massive army led by the rich and powerful Tywin Lannister. As they ready for battle, a third army can be seen cresting the horizon. At the front of an enormous force is the steely face of the Lord of Light, Stannis Baratheon. A sword made from the finest Valyrian steel would be unable to cut through the tension. The three generals rally their troops as a section of forest burst into flames. As though birthed from the fire, Daenerys Targaryen comes soaring from the flaming trees riding a dragon. Also, she is naked. One dragon would cause all but the most courageous knights to wet their armor and she has brought three to this battle.